This one is a bit more personal. Never been a Burner before so I can't rightly say that this is a Burner entry. I have done some thinking. A sometimes dangerous occupation in life, I know.
I'm right where I need to be. Doing just what I need to be doing and learning what I need to learn. God is all-knowing an knows my heart better than anyone. He knows how to make me what He wants better than anyone. He gives me chance after chance. He drives me before Him. Knowing that I will fall into the path He set out once I've learned what He wants me to learn. All I have to do is listen.
Hardest thing on the earth for me. Listening. I'm not very good at it. I'm to busy being distracted. Listening to my own thoughts. When I do that I do not relax. I project things I don't mean to. The people around me and my family pick-up on things I don't mean to say. While I quietly reassure myself that "they know better". The only way they will know better is if I show them. I need to do what needs doing and stop thinking about it. He has trained me enough to know how to do it and in what ways.
Time to take the training. Time to let it sink in and stick. I'm like a child who refuses to grow up, but wants to be treated like a grown up at the same time. Can't have it both ways. I know how to put on my shoes. I need to stop asking God to do it for me. Life is what we let God make of it. Life is only worth living when we do that. God's understanding is beyond ours and His plan is greater than ours. There's only been one man who walked His path the right way and we killed him for it. Now, thousands of years later, we act like we know who he was and what God was saying to us through Him. Best to just get close to God and not let go. That's what he was ultimately telling us. Get close and don't let go. He will tell us what He wants. We will know what the right things to do are if we do. At home, at work, and in the world.
He's giving me a leg up with this surgery. My own private catharsis just to get past some bad habits and grow. I'll make sure I don't let go of the life rope this time. It's to lonely out here otherwise. Thanks God. Thank you Brandy. Thank you Mom and everyone else who puts up with me. May God put me to good use in life doing His will in the way that He fashioned me to. He made me specific for the job. I better listen. I better be myself for Him. I better let Him be himself through me. Good night and Laters!!!
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1 comment:
That was beautiful. It touched my heart and soul, that you can bear your soul. I love you and you are a blessing to me and the children. Thank you for waking up with the hugs and kisses. You make the world a better place. Don't forget that. I admire you for our differences. You keep writing and putting out the vibe, babe!
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